Sunday, January 31, 2010

DNN presents - The Real X Files, Episode One

Chandra: Ladies, we had a good show tonight, but I've gotta watch The Real X Files.
Britney: The Real X Files! I want to see that!
Ticcara: I didn't know there was a new X Files show.
Chandra: Oh yeah - it reboots the 9th season, when Mulder came back and starts from there.

Ticcara: I don't see a TV.

Britney: Girl, get in the 21st century! You can watch TV on the internet now!

Chandra: Let me set up the computer, and you ladies can go change out of those ugly outfits.

Britney and Ticcara: WHAT?!?

Chandra: Kidding! Just kidding!

In the FBI Building, Lower Level:

Director Malone: Special Agents Scully and Doggett, this will be your new office. Sorry, but this part of the building is still under construction. Hey, you're agents - you'll deal.

Scully: Thanks, Director Malone. We'll be fine.

Doggett: Yes, thanks sir.

Malone: Please; it's Jack. Unless you screw up, then it's Director Malone.

Malone: Before I go, Agent Scully, I just wanted to say that before Director Skinner left, he gave us the location of a possible witness to Agent Mulder's disappearance, and that I've got my best people working on it. I just wanted you to know that unlike my predecessors, I care what happens to my agents, and that I promise we will not rest until we find Agent Mulder.

Scully: Thank you, sir... I mean, Jack.

Malone: You're welcome.

Director Malone leaves, and Scully and Doggett have the office to themselves.

Doggett: You okay, Scully?
Scully: Just thinking that the scenery never changes around here.
Doggett: Heh. It's not that bad.

Scully: Not that bad? Doggett, look around! We're in the basement... again!

Doggett: It's not too bad - we need to get some chairs in here. We can move out some of these file cabinets, and then we'd have room for our desks...

Scully: DESKS?? You mean, desks in the plural???
Doggett: Sure. There's enough room in here... and if not, well, we'll move more file cabinets.
Scully: Doggett, I like you better and better everyday... Hey! Are those donuts?

Doggett: They sure smell like them. Wonder how they got there?
Scully: Well, then this can be our first case for the department. Solving the mystery of how these donuts got here.
Doggett: Nah, I'd rather eat them.

Scully: Me, too. We're gonna need more coffee. though.
Doggett: Now THAT I know where we can get... along with some chairs...
Scully: Let's go then!

An Hour Later...

Scully: Whoa, I'm stuffed! Those were some good donuts!

Doggett: Agent Scully, I'm impressed. I never knew you could pack away that many donuts.

Scully: Well, when you grow up in a house with four kids, you learn to pile drive the donuts.

Doggett: So what do you think? We requisition some desks, a couple of lamps, a coffee-maker, maybe a microwave?

Scully: Why not go whole hog and order a mini-fridge? I'd love a place to store my yogurt. And you can put in your big subs.

Doggett: You realy know how to tempt a man. Deal.

Doggett: And if you want, we can even get one of those "I Want to Believe" posters and throw it up on the wall...

Scully: Let's not get crazy, okay? I want Agent Mulder found, but I don't want this office junked up with all his stuff.

Doggett: I was just joking. I want to put up a Jets poster!

Scully: Ha! You joker! You're totally on a sugar high!

Doggett: Don't forget all the coffee I had! Hahaha!
Scully: Hee, hee! Stop jumping up and down, Doggett!
Doggett: You stop jumping up and down, Scully!

Mulder: Hey! Why are we all jumping up and down???

Scully: Mulder?!?

Mulder: Hey, Scully. Hey, Doggett.



Scully: I think we should put the microwave over here, Doggett.

Mulder: Scully? Doggett? Someone gonna help me up? Bueller?

(to be continued in Episode Two)

Saturday, January 30, 2010

DNN presents - "Worst Outfit Ever!" Episode One

In the Doll Nation University
Student Housing:

Aidan: I wonder what's on TV tonight?

Darren: Your dorm room is barely furnished, but you've got a flat screen tv?

Aidan: Sure!

Darren: Sweet.

Aidan channel surfs until:

"Oops, I did it again/ I played with your heart..." "Psst! Britney, you're on!" "Oops! Sorry!...Hi, I'm Britney Spears! And I'm your host for WORST. OUTFIT. EVER!"

"Now, contrary to popular opinion, just because it's pink doesn't make it a nominee for WORST OUTFIT EVER. What looks bad on one doll might be fine for another. I'm wearing this cute Mattel ensemble... but tonight, we have two outfits from the Mattel Hall of Shame!"

"First up, we present Ticcara modeling this truly HORRIBLE lime green and orange dress. The label may say "Genuine Barbie", but it is also genuine UG-LEE!"

Ticcara: WHAT?!? My outfit isn't ugly! This is a Genuine Barbie outfit!

Britney: Girl, please! You're telling me no one told you how ugly that dress it?

Ticcara: I'll have you know I get lots of complements on this outfit!

Britney: Suuuure...

(Fifteen minutes earlier...)

Chandra: Hey! You in the ugly dress! How did you get into my room?

Ticcara: What? My dress isn't ugly!

Chandra: Suuure...

Ticcara: Oh please, like you should talk - that outfit you're wearing is "Worst. Outfit. Ever! - the 10th Anniversary Special."

Chandra: Girl, I will snatch that weave right off your head!

Ticcara: Eeep!

Darren: Oh snap! Girl fight!

Aidan: Sweet.

Britney: "Womanizer, woman-womanizer... ""BRITNEY!" "Oops! Sorry! ... Ahem, and my next guest is Nichelle from the Generation Girls who is wearing...Hey! You're supposed to be wearing that outfit!

Nichelle: It was bad enough I was SOLD IN STORES wearing this outfit - I'm not putting it back on! And I'm supposed to be studying FASHION DESIGN in my Mattel backstory! Who's going to buy this clown dress- Ringling Brothers???

Britney: Heh, heh, heh... Ringling Brothers. Good one.

Well, that's all the time we have this week for WORST. OUTFIT EVER!

Britney: Hey, Nichelle, want to go party?

Nichelle: Sure, but you'll have to change out of that sparkly denim skirt... and that pink top? So not happening!

Britney: WHAT?!? I'm Britney, %$*&!!! I can wear what I want!

Nichelle: Suuure...